Eric Hates You

You people have some nerve. Flagrantly disobeying the numbers on the side of the road you choose to drive at your own casual pace. People don’t get into their cars and hit the road to kill time. This isn’t the 50’s. People no longer take the family out in the Oldsmobile for a Sunday drive. If you want to drive at your own pace instead of the standard set by the State and Federal governments, you can move to Montana, or Wyoming.

Have you never heard of living life in the fast lane? You can’t live life in the fast lane while simultaneously driving 45 in a 65. Now I understand that you believe driving more slowly with your kids in the car somehow makes you more of a responsible parent but it does not. What it does do is make me want to put a tire iron through your back windshield.

Do you not have places to be? Obviously you do otherwise you wouldn’t be wasting your $4 a gallon gasoline. Are you somehow unique from everyone else in that the laws of time don’t apply to you? Do you have that much extra time on your hands that you leave 10 minutes early so you can drive 20 miles under the speed limit? Somehow I think you get joy from seeing 10 cars lined up behind you; seeing the drivers throwing their hands up in anger; hearing the car horns blaring which can only mean one thing: If you don’t go the speed limit or higher, I’m going to ram your car off the road. The government determines the speed limit because that is a safe speed to drive. If you can’t drive the speed limit because you don’t feel safe doing so, you don’t deserve a drivers license. Get someone to drive you around that is willing to read the speed limit signs properly and not make people want to light your gas tank on fire.