While not directly affecting me in any way, I hate these people because I don’t have the balls to do it myself. I don’t know if it’s because I’d feel guilty or if I’d feel disgusted to be lowering myself to basement level laziness. If you’ve ever parked next to someone who is selfish enough to knowingly park in a handicap parking space you’ll see one of many things:
1) If the person spots you eyeing them they may act like they are searching for their non-existent handicapped parking placard and proceed with an exaggerated look of realization that they left it at home. This is usually followed by the following:
2) The person may pretend to be handicapped while getting out of their car. Limping or faking pain while crossing the parking lot is to be expected. This of course subsides once the person is inside their destination. If the person has kids, they may have informed them of the ruse beforehand. You may see a small child fetching a shopping cart for their “handicapped” parent. This is similar to training a small dog.
3) Upon exiting the building, their eyes will be fixed on the windshield of their car. They could be shopping at a Walmart in downtown Baghdad but nothing can pull their gaze away from that windshield. As soon as they are sure there is no parking ticket on said windshield, you will see:
4) An undeserved sense of accomplishment usually in the form of a smug smile or floaty walk. I’ve seen less emotion on OJ’s face when he was declared not guilty. At this point, they will climb into their mid-80’s compact car or minivan.
Of course it is futile to call someone out on their parking faux pas. They will either ignore you or give you the finger. In both cases, your hatred for them will increase tenfold and burn further into your mind the fact that they have more balls than you do.
